Chris Cornell’s suicide has dampened my sex drive.

I woke up this morning to my side guy crawling in to bed with me.  It’s my favorite time of day.  I was still really sleepy from last night’s escapades.  I went to sleep with thigh high gray stockings, black panties and a peacock blue/black lace trimmed bra.  Submissive guy didn’t see all that.  He did see the bra.  More about that encounter in a bit.

The 1st thing I remember hearing is “Chris Cornell died”.  I thought I heard that wrong, so I said “what?”  He repeated it, and I was literally stunned into silence.  He’s my all time favorite voice in rock.  He died at 52.  He will always be the original grunge rock pioneer with a 4 octave range, superior song writing talent, and a kick fucking ASS guitar player who is hotter than hell.  To hear that he hung himself was a total shocker.  It reminded me of how I felt when I heard Robin Williams committed suicide.  That one hit me so hard I still can’t watch one of his movies.

Back to yesterday.  I should say that side guy didn’t know about him ahead of time.  I’m not sure why, other than my desire to dominate a man in a certain way isn’t something I’m going to do with side guy.

We (the submissive) met at a local restaurant and I wore a business suit.  He was a cocky businessman in town from Ohio.  He tried to pick me up, and I kept shooting him down.  We carried on through two drinks and a cigarette break, then came back to my place.  I stripped him down, spent some time scraping my nails down his back and biting him on his sides just hard enough to leave red marks.  I had him masturbate in front of my mirror in the bedroom (using his other hand).  Eventually it moved to him lying on my bed and I got in on the action by lubricating my hands, teasing his asshole and stroking his cock and balls, and eventually worked my way to inserting my finger inside his ass.  I absolutely love the feel, and I know it feels great for him as well.  He came when I stroked him with one hand and used my other by sliding a finger in and out of his ass.  He had never had that done to him before.

Side guy tried to call me at some point during this, something like “got a hot date?” and then later “I guess so, have fun!”.  I texted him back, telling him short story was a guy who wants to be dominated.  After sub guy left, I called side guy.  Told him briefly about the evening, how I get off on penetrating a man and that I was able to do that.  I was a bit drunk and stoned by then, so I’m paranoid about his reaction.

When he came over this morning, we didn’t have sex.  We cuddled and he held me tighter than usual or so it seemed.  We watched videos, and I curled up against him for what seemed like an eternity and no time at all.  He has a fantastic natural body odor, and because he strips to his underwear before he climbs into bed I got plenty of it on me.  I didn’t shower this morning, so all damn day I could smell side guy and it was amazing.  I messaged him that at one point today.

Today I had arranged to meet a young guy who seemed down for a threesome.  It was planned a week ago.  We had a nice time, he’s really cool and drama free which is nice.  He’s a lot younger.  Really not in to relationships at this point in his life.  Has been with couples occasionally over the years.  And his schedule can match with ours.  We’ll see how that plays out.

Right now I’m talking with side guy.  Told him I feel bad about not telling him about sub guy before I met up with him.  We both understand our situation, but for me it feels a bit like cheating.  The guy I met tonight, he did kiss me a few times but that’s as far as it went.  I don’t know if it will work but there is potential.

Have I mentioned it’s soooo late and I have to work in the morning?  We shall see what tomorrow brings.


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